Talk about bad bathroom timing.
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Man robs bank after pooping in parking lot, cops say
Stress of the holidays getting to you?
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Can’t find a good babysitter? Consider this cat
The holidays are the season for giving. Unfortunately, they are also the season for recieving unwanted Christmas songs. These jaunty dirges are hammered into our brain every December, and they mostly sound like a civilization dying.
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10 dumb songs that will make you hate the holidays
“I've gone to jingle hell and back. When we get home, I am so taking a giant steaming dump in your favorite slippers.” The only difference between being a dog on Halloween and being one on Christmas is the increase in temperature. And perhaps the lack of color choices..
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20 reasons why dogs hate the holidays
Smokers: You've got roughly nine years to enjoy what's left of your puffing privileges before smoking is banned countrywide nearly everywhere other than the great outdoors or the privacy of your own bomb shelter. The Center for Disease Control predicts that by the year 2020 there will be no smoking in any bar, restaurant or work place anywhere in the U.S. of A.
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Countrywide smoking ban is not dumb
I should totally play sports. Not because I'm good with balls, like the competition or even need a hobby. But because those who participate in various sports can get away with things that are otherwise socially unacceptable or “out of the norm.” The fact that I knocked back an entire three-serving bag of Trader Joe's Fettucine Alfredo followed by a pint of Ben & Jerry's last night might be described as “carbo-loading” for the big game.
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5 reasons being a dumb jock is awesome
If you're a head of state there are certain things you should have plenty of. These include nice suits, shiny shoes and all the office supplies your little heart desires. If a president is lacking in any of these things he ends up looking like Czech President Vaclav Klaus in the above video. Klaus was caught on video doing his best impression of Winona Ryder in a department store but instead of fashionable dresses he was shoplifting a pen from a treaty signing he attended in Chile. It is common practice for dignitaries to be given the cermonial pens they use for treaty signings but if Klaus expected to be given the pen, as he claims, why is he being so sly about taking it in the video? In the above video you see him bring it under the table, pass it to his other hand and put it in his pocket. As he drops it in his pocket a mischeivous smirk pops up on his face.
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Dumb president steals pen at treaty signing
Today is Wednesday, April 13th and as you know, other than being hump day, it's also National Peach Cobbler Day , Blame Someone Else Day , Plant Appreciation Day and Scrabble Day . Now some of you might think these holidays are frivolous and that perhaps they are even made up for the sake of selling peaches, plants and Scrabble board games.
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Happy April 13th everybody!
Before you dive headfirst into a day filled with debauchery and green beer, you need to map out a plan.
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Avoid that post-St. Patty’s Day hangover
If you've ever watched Chappelle's Show , seen the last 15 minutes of Scarface , or caught even five seconds of Charlie Sheen doing, well, anything, you're probably aware that “Cocaine is a hell of a drug.” It certainly makes you paranoid, but does it make you dumb?
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If your coke dealer rips you off, don’t complain to the cops